My first of many disappointments came when I realised that the line up I'd seen on Twitter was for Spanktacular (the Saturday night only show that Underbelly also run at the big cow) and not Spank.
I asked the Underbelly folk on Twitter what the Spank line up was, they gave me the Spanktacular line up... and when I asked if they were the same show I never got a reply. (Subsequent research shows they are not - the big acts all go to Spanktacular on a Saturday).
The second disappointment was when I got into the room and realised that there were very few seats left even although we got in the queue 10 minutes before the start time.
The third disappointment was that the room was horrible. I knew the Underbelly was going to be a bit damp and cramped, but I didn't expect their flagship late show to be in a room with huge pillars in front of the stage and I didn't expect at least a dozen of the 165 seats on sale to be directly behind said pillars, forcing people to choose between a seat and a view of the stage. There was also no screen between the bar and performance area. What a terrible room for comedy!
The fourth disappointment of the night was the bar. The only spirits on sale... Sambuca, Tequila and Jager. But no vodka? So the girlfriend got a Smirnoff ice. The barman was kind enough to let me know it was warm only after he had charged me £12.20 (for that and two Buds) and after he had given me my change. "Is that OK mate" he said. With 20 other folk waiting to be served and staring at the back of my head I guess it had to be!
Disappointment number five was the banging techno from the room next door - something you expect when you go to a free show but not at a £15.50 Big Venue Flagship late show.
Disappointment number six was the acts, none of which were up to much or really got the crowd going. (A few had some OK material that could have worked better on another night). I was hoping for some big names but I hadn't heard of any of the acts that I saw.
Disappointment number seven was the number of people chatting (which you expect to a certain extent at a late show, but the two close to me were at it non-stop for 15 minutes).
Disappointment number eight was the staff members who stood right next to the door watching the comedy, rather than asking the two noisy birds to shut up (even although they were literally right next to them).
Disappointment number nine was the lack of toilet facilities anywhere near the performance area... To pee you had to head out, through the yard past all the smokers, into the bar, up a spiral staircase, through another bar and in... By the time you get back it's a ten minute round trip and that's assuming you don't get caught in the midst of a show going in or out in which case it could be fifteen.
On the plus side, the comperes tried to get the crowd going, the music they played at the start was decent. One compere was Kate Smurfwaite who I'm a fan of (and that opinion hasn't changed - she didn't do anything wrong). I also like the idea of the "naked promo" which gives fringe performers the chance to plug their show as long as they get naked whilst doing it.
Disappointment number seven was the number of people chatting (which you expect to a certain extent at a late show, but the two close to me were at it non-stop for 15 minutes).
Disappointment number eight was the staff members who stood right next to the door watching the comedy, rather than asking the two noisy birds to shut up (even although they were literally right next to them).
Disappointment number nine was the lack of toilet facilities anywhere near the performance area... To pee you had to head out, through the yard past all the smokers, into the bar, up a spiral staircase, through another bar and in... By the time you get back it's a ten minute round trip and that's assuming you don't get caught in the midst of a show going in or out in which case it could be fifteen.
On the plus side, the comperes tried to get the crowd going, the music they played at the start was decent. One compere was Kate Smurfwaite who I'm a fan of (and that opinion hasn't changed - she didn't do anything wrong). I also like the idea of the "naked promo" which gives fringe performers the chance to plug their show as long as they get naked whilst doing it.
But the overall experience was horrible and it wasn't just me who felt this way. The decision to leave at the interval was unanimous amongst our group, so I never found out if anyone did the naked promo.
There has been a lot of talk about this Fringe being a vanguard for change, with some big acts not selling tickets, others getting ahead of the game and agreeing to do free shows and lots of people tuning on promoters, slating them for hoovering up all the profits.
I got some stick for telling people to support The Stand and the Free Festival at the start of the run from a performer at the one of the Big Four venues... Well, after experiencing this year's Fringe, and Spank in particular, I'll be doing the same again next year.
Had I taken my own advice and gone to The Stand, the only real comedy club in Edinburgh, I would have experienced none of the above issues. I would have known what I was going to see, (the Spank Facebook page still only has a list of acts for the 24th) and I would have experienced none of the logistical problems.
And let me say rather uncontroversially... The Free Festival would have put on at least as good a show! If not better.
I have sung the praises of Shaggers, run by my mate Nik Coppin many times, but I have to question why anyone would want to go to Spank over a Free Show like Shaggers, which is at least as good in terms of the acts on stage and far better in terms of the room and the atmosphere.
Yes you would still have 1-2 of the problems that I experienced at Spank - occasional drunks chatting at the back, some music from outside creeping in and the toilets in Three Sisters are among the worst, but when it comes to value for money, there is no contest! If you like it, chuck some money in the bucket! If you don't you can leave and at least you are still in the middle of one of the liveliest venues in Edinburgh!
In times of a recession, people will not be taken for mugs and I certainly won't be lining the pockets of Ed Bartlam again. Other people are starting to feel the same way, with more and more supporting the Free Festival.
I can't wait to see what next year will bring! With the creative but divisive Peter Buckley-Hill rumoured to be retiring, The Free Fringe and the Free Festival might even start to benefit each other again!
Whatever happens, I hope it's for the benefit of the performers and audience!
It's been fun... Just a shame that my Festival ended on a low point.
Spank gets zero stars from me!
Had I taken my own advice and gone to The Stand, the only real comedy club in Edinburgh, I would have experienced none of the above issues. I would have known what I was going to see, (the Spank Facebook page still only has a list of acts for the 24th) and I would have experienced none of the logistical problems.
And let me say rather uncontroversially... The Free Festival would have put on at least as good a show! If not better.
I have sung the praises of Shaggers, run by my mate Nik Coppin many times, but I have to question why anyone would want to go to Spank over a Free Show like Shaggers, which is at least as good in terms of the acts on stage and far better in terms of the room and the atmosphere.
Yes you would still have 1-2 of the problems that I experienced at Spank - occasional drunks chatting at the back, some music from outside creeping in and the toilets in Three Sisters are among the worst, but when it comes to value for money, there is no contest! If you like it, chuck some money in the bucket! If you don't you can leave and at least you are still in the middle of one of the liveliest venues in Edinburgh!
In times of a recession, people will not be taken for mugs and I certainly won't be lining the pockets of Ed Bartlam again. Other people are starting to feel the same way, with more and more supporting the Free Festival.
I can't wait to see what next year will bring! With the creative but divisive Peter Buckley-Hill rumoured to be retiring, The Free Fringe and the Free Festival might even start to benefit each other again!
Whatever happens, I hope it's for the benefit of the performers and audience!
It's been fun... Just a shame that my Festival ended on a low point.
Spank gets zero stars from me!